Final Tribute to Mother

ILMA BERYLDINE BROADDUS LYNN

Ilma Beryldine is not a common name but then again the woman whose life we are celebrating today was not a common woman. She was an extraordinary woman of noble character like the one described in Proverbs 31.

She actually had several names. My dad would introduce her as “My Lady”. She loved being called that so much that when she found silverware with that name, she bought it. When he walked in the door after work, he would sing out, “Honey Chile, I’m home.” My cousin Mollie and then her children called her Aunt B. My children and grandchildren called her Grandma Beryldine. But I got to call her Momma. As one of my friends said, “You got more than your fair share of a mother. “

It is so fitting that we would have this service here in this church. I grew up steeped in church and church people. Momma was the minister’s secretary and I have very vivid memories of being at the downtown location and being with Bessie Hart, Hayes Williams and Mrs. S.H. Boozier. I can’t remember her first name, but I remember how she made me feel---loved. Dr. Robinson told Momma that he might as well baptize me because every Sunday, I tugged on his robes and asked him if I was ready and would he do it. Momma surrounded me with people like Rella Nugent, Connie Stark, Mr. & Mrs. E.L. Hunter and all the great Sunday School teachers that taught God’s word. Momma and Daddy’s pew was right over there. Momma said that she never felt closer to Daddy than when they were sitting side by side in church. I can picture Daddy serving communion with his big strong hands holding the small juice filled cup as he prayed. I was always so proud that he was an elder. Gary and I were married here and as we knelt to pray, I couldn’t quit crying. Dr. Robinson leaned over and said that I had to quit crying because he couldn’t keep praying. If we weren’t in church, church people like Mary Lou and Joe McGregor and Iris and Gerald Wherry were at our house playing bridge. So I want to thank each of you that helped shape me and thank my momma for picking out such good role models. Even my dance teacher was Dixie Dice who belonged to this church. Dixie could rock and roll with the best of them and I loved every sequin that Momma sewed on those costumes so I could be in one of Dixie’s productions.

There are so many qualities that I admired about my Momma:

She loved to work at the church, but she refused to work past 3, so that she could be there when I got home from school. She said that the first 30 minutes after I got home was when I would tell her the most about my day and that she didn’t want to miss anything. I do not remember walking into an empty house.

I loved how Momma guarded her reputation. She and Daddy used to count the money from the offering plate. One year at Christmas Daddy bought her a mink coat. She took it right back the day after Christmas because she didn’t want anyone to think she had bought it with the offering money. She valued a spotless reputation.

Momma always put me in lots of activities. She would say, “I want you to go out and learn how to be with people”. And then she would add….all kinds of people. She always found something good in anyone she met. My cousin Mollie said that no one could greet a child like Aunt B. One of my friends in Houston, Jan Griesenbeck, said that anytime she was with my Momma, Momma made Jan feel like she was so glad that Jan was in the room. Jan said that Mother shared her gift of encouragement with everyone and always left you feeling uplifted and just so blessed you were able to spend time with her. She was a terrific listener. People would drop in to the church office and need to speak to Dr. Robinson or Dr. Bridwell. If the minister wasn’t available, Momma would listen to the person and before long that person would decide that they didn’t need to talk to the minister so badly after all. Instead, they would leave saying, “just tell him I came by.” All accomplished just by her listening. One of my friends came by the studio on Tuesday before Momma died on Wednesday and shared some things with me. As she left the studio, she stuck her head back in and said “Thanks for listening. I feel better.” I had the sweetest feeling, as if the torch had passed and I was honored to be following in Momma’s footsteps.

Momma was an avid walker. She and Lena Braudt would walk around Western Plaza daily. One time Lena couldn’t go, so she went to walk around Memorial Park by herself. She looked up and realized that Daddy was following her in the car to be sure that she was safe. I admired her self-discipline and healthy ways. I remember when she was about the age that I am now, she and Vernon Stagner would spend time discussing the latest healthy information. She loved grapefruit and coffee. Just a few weeks ago when she was hardly eating or drinking anything, she asked Gary to get her a cup of hot fresh coffee. The one she had was neither hot nor fresh.

I don’t remember ever really being in trouble. Once Momma told me that I was grounded, but after about 30 minutes she stuck her head in my room and said that Carol was here and did I want to go get a coke. I remember thinking that she really didn’t know how this grounding thing worked. I really think that Momma just couldn’t stay mad very long, she never held a grudge and she was always up for me having some fun. I once learned that that one day while I was at Tech, Momma came storming through the den saying that she was going to call me and tell me that I was wearing my skirts too short. Daddy never put the paper down but calmly said, “I don’t believe that I would do that if I were you.” She didn’t, but some how I knew about the incident.

About 1994 she decided that she needed to quit working at the church before someone asked her to quit. She decided that she would move to Houston before she had to move to Houston and in time for her to make friends in Houston, be close to family but let us have our own lives. She participated in all of the activities at the Terrace. Her stated attitude was that if the workers at the Terrace were going to go to the trouble of having activities, she needed to be there to attend them. She made new friends, but I don’t think they ever took the place of those that were in Amarillo. She welcomed new comers to the Terrace and invited them to sit at her table. She never participated in gossip. Once someone was talking about someone. “What is it that we don’t like about her? Momma’s answer was, ”I don’t know.”

Most of you could fill in your own stories of how she lived. Let me tell you how she faced the last few years of her life. She would always tell me to “keep on keeping on”, hold on to the faith, be kind to each other and “don’t worry your pretty little head” about something. But almost three years ago, I was presented with a situation that I couldn’t help but worry about. As Hurricane Ike approached and then hit Houston, Momma came to our house to stay for several days. Being with her day AND night for those several days, I came to realize that her memory loss and confusion was much worse than I had realized and that it was no longer safe for her to live alone in her apartment or in my house that was empty all day. I had to take her to a memory loss center. She went with such resolve to like it. When I would visit she would say that it was such a nice place to live. All the helpers told me how very pleasant she was and that she never, ever complained. In January I moved her to a personal care home and she went with the same great attitude again. She told me that she was leaving up to me the decision of what was best for her. About six weeks ago the hospice nurse told me to hurry out because she did not think Momma would make it through the night. Each week the hospice nurses told me that she would not be there the following week. About four weeks later, they quit saying that and said that they had no explanation. She was very clear for someone that had dementia. We had many short, but good conversations during the last six weeks. She continued to say that it was such a nice place to live. The nurses – both at the memory loss center and at the personal care home - told me how sweet she was and how she always complimented them on their attire, etc. Each one of the nurses fell in love with her and every one of them wanted to be the one to check on her. She always knew Gary and me and never failed to say something nice about how we looked. On last Tuesday, she was doing things that told me that the end was near. I told her that I wanted to be with her when she passed from this life to the next. The next day she would shake her head no when the attendants would ask her if she was ready to go. When I got there, I told her that we were going to do this together and that I was not leaving. I would hold her hand, pray with her, sing her hymns and read her scriptures. She shook her head “Yes” when I asked her if she heard me. Twice more she said “yes.” I told her that she would be part of that great cloud of witnesses that would surround us mentioned in Hebrews 12. Gary and I were with her when we heard the last puff of life while Priska, one of the nurses, was praying. One of my friends said that it is at times like this that God stretches the veil so thin that we can almost see through and get glimpses into eternity.

The day she died the Bible was open to Psalms 62:11.

More than once I have heard God say

That power belongs to him

And that his love is constant.

You yourself, O Lord, reward everyone according to his deeds.

When I arrived at her bedside six weeks ago, I prayed something about God showing his power and making his presence known. I believe that he did just that and that Momma died like she lived….in the shelter of his wings.

Proverbs 31 talks about the Wife of Noble Character. Solomon talks there about many things, but what caught my eye were the last few verses:

“Her children arise and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her;

Many women do noble things,

But you surpass them all.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned,

And let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

BLESSED IS MY MOMMA, ILMA BERYLDINE BROADDUS LYNN